Eleanor, We Have Put These Difficulties Behind Us

Strawberry seed       wedged between      two teeth   Forgot   to floss       Thinking of      Liam   

Should be sleeping         Liam sitting     Patch of sun     Beer in hand        Greenwich village 

Trees lining      brownstones I ramble         About        a girlfriend (ex-girlfriend?)   

Moved to NYC    difficulties finding         an apartment    About roaches          Red walls    

About labor         At the denim shop      Violi’s son          Sometimes we’d see shows together   

Sometimes        Paul would ask   How’s Alex these days?        The three      of us    met for Thai    

East Village       Wish that happened more     than once       Where         did the time go     

What were         we busy with          poeming           acting auditions          teaching

Oh those things     Hunting money          Holding onto        some kind       of life   

Corner table    outside   Don’t you just    love      the city   this time     of year   

Telling Liam about her         leaving       About me       staying          Liam      

having problems     Can’t remember        The pigeons cared       none 

About      our problems      Clustered    in jagged lines       pecking at scraps        

Winter was delayed    The feeling     of Eternal Autumn     Some trees     held onto     

Scent of bagels         in the wind         Liam and I        thought our lives     in New York City 

Would somehow    Be different    Like we’d be somebody   Famous… I don’t know respected  

Didn’t want     to give up        we      clanked glasses       said we      resigned ourselves      to live 

whatever    these lives were      in a city       that we loved      that would never       love us back to life      What is a life 

 Ambition     The way things are        How to feel        

About the accumulation         of minutes       When the days   start marking us

Is often       this immense       energy        Thankless glasses       drained        of liquid

Impulsive logic     outstretched egos       The unrequited sadness     settling      later    

At Liam’s (not Paul’s) memorial    Poetry Project   overflowing      with people     Some tears   some 

laughter     A slide show      Liam and his guitar            He’d said he’d play me a song      

Never     got around to it     Liam in a bathtub       An objection       to some photo    I was 

outside       of their grief       Mine less personal     lack of intimacy    His obsessions    with minor      and major poets      

  I am minoring          I am mirroring 

Contemplative failure       thinking         about his sonnet       about money      Waiting 

in line       to buy        overpriced    broccoli      Coat    with olive oil    and salt     Roast    in oven   

Half an idea       Something about dinner        About mouths   What we put in them   

What comes       out of them       Kanji test   stress high    time to       Become invisible   

Fleeing     kitchen       Apartment    too small   Domestic appetites    and aspirations   

Dinner will      have to wait          An entrance             Overly announced    

The way      the door slams     behind if you fail             to catch it