It had been raining, and it was raining. Everything around me was happening in a language I didn’t understand. Often, I would just listen to the rain the words floating around me but never sticking. There was an erected crane and on the first day of rain it was partially obscured by clouds. But it had been… It had been raining for so many days. I couldn’t remember which direction the crane was facing as one part of the sky was indistinguishable from another part of the sky.
In Tokyo it had not been raining for 10 days but it felt like it had been raining for 10 days. Green leaves saturated in water. Feelings fragmented into a memory of a time. I was living in Portland, and it rained for 10 days. I took the bus. The distance between the bus stop and work my feet would get wet. All the bushes looked like wet yarn. I would go to Honkin’ Huge Burrito for lunch but because it was raining. I didn’t go out for lunch. Outside the store window where I worked busses were honking at cars; the street covered in leaves.
I hated my job. I sat in the breakroom reading Thomas Mann’s Magic Mountain. My stomach was mad at me. The words mostly floated around me. I was zoned out thinking about eating. My hand turned the pages. I can’t really remember but somewhere in the book. The main character goes skiing and maybe it was avalanche or just a white-out. I thought he might die. It was a moody book where I could be deceived into thinking everyone would die sooner or later. And they would all die trying not to be disappointed. But they would in fact die disappointed. Anyway, I inhabited the fear of snow.
Anytime I find myself in intense snow the fear inhabits me. There is no snow. Only heavy rain and puddles and smelly buses all running late or never showing up. It was the 9th day of a 10-day rainfall. On the 11th day I rode my bike to work. As I approached the bridge, I saw people leaned over and pointing to something below. I biked slowly. Then dismounted. The sky was splattered with cotton candy clouds. Below was a park and the table and benches were submerged in water. I imagined being submerged in snow. I got back on my bike. I went out for lunch. I got a Honkin’ Huge Burrito. Because it had rained for so many days Pioneer Square was flooded with asses. There was not a single place to sit. I took my burrito back to the break room. I opened my book. The burrito tasted soggy. It was sunny outside. People were happy.