A 30 minute lunch

This is very rough and it got weird at the end but this is where my brain went on my 30 minute lunch.

I am crashing towards the end
And it’s another Monday & I feel
Near collapse. The sky is blue again
And the clouds call for rain and
I am staring at the space between
Wondering where to begin and
End. Where the girls are
And where shifts happen in real
Time not imaginative wanderings
That steal the tiny bits of dreams

My fingers don’t want to type and my back
And hip ache – every morning waking
Into pain and they tell me it’s ok
Keep going keep going and well
It’s not and I won’t and I will rest
And rest long and fulfilled rest like
Those deer in an idyllic field like
A yellowed field but pretty and serene
Like it should be

All these days pass and I forget
Words and how to write and
How to be human – whatever
Truly – what whatever that means
and when waking into a world
Sets the constant tripping on fire
And burns the itty bits of flesh from
My long long exhausted nervous system
And it’s really the fading that’s causing
The lack of color and you know,
That part where the skin turns gray
And there are tears of your own and
And an orange flower alights like
The sun and you curl up like a
Shrimp to sleep – that there can be
A little dream that we touch on
Pour some sauce on me, I’m cooked
And looking for another mouth
To feed.